Too Good for Her Own Good: Searching for Self and Intimacy in Important Relationships Paperback – May 8, 1991

Pulls away the varnish of womens life in the new age.

Not only have I read this book, but I have purchased additional copies to hand out to friends. This book is so empowering in a society of women so dragged down by patriarchal views and expectations from everyone. As women, we are taught from day 1 that it is our job to take care of everyone around us: our siblings, our parents, our friends, our spouses, our children. And this "care" is far beyond what is realistic. It is as if we are to carry everyone else's problems and woes and struggles on our own shoulders as if they are our own.This book is tremendously eye-opening to the fact that carrying everything for everyone else is UNHEALTHY for both you AND them. You are cheating both yourself and everyone you "help" from establishing their own self-confidence and self-esteem. Another great book on a similar subject is "Codependent No More".

So many of us females were raised to be "nice" and to take care of others. No one told us we needed to be nice to ourselves as well! Why do we often feel overwhelmed, taken for granted, and often the door mat for family and friends? If you are at the breaking point, whether a home maker or career woman, this is a must read. Feeling like you are breaking into little pieces it might be you ARE too good for your own good. A must read.

I have read hundreds of self-help books in my life and this is one of the very best, alongside Harriet Lerner's The Dance of Anger. The authors' description of the traps that men and women face in intimate relationships is spot on. An EXCELLENT read for anyone who has grown up in a family affected by alcoholism. Isn't that everyone?

A classic! I'm a therapist, and I've loaned out this book so many times I can't count them. A very good, very accessible read for women who overfunction in relationships.

I was recommended book and in turn, I absolutely recommend this book to anyone. It has been extremely helpful with giving me tools I was needing to be able to focus more on my reactions, and myself in overall. Life's about balancing.

As a man searching to find reasons why a wonderful marriage would end so suddenly, I've read my share of books. This book provides a clear explanation of why these wonderful women, that we men love so much, can just up and leave out of the blue. I'm so thankful to Bepko and Krestan for laying it out so well. And I can use the information to help understand women better and their Code of Goodness burden.

Read and then reread. Sent copy to my middle daughter. Specific section on family "triangles" starting about p121 was significant and helpful as to how to handle this problem. Write has insite into family dynamics. Thoughtful and knowledgeable author.

Couldn't get into this book at all and gave up after the first chapter or so.

Herzstärkend und herzerwärmend, spricht wahrscheinlich den meistenFrauen direkt aus der Seele. Ich kann es nur empfehlen, es vermittelt tiefe Einsichten.

A great read for all women. Really makes one think of our role in creating and living our own lives for ourselves and not just for others.

Exactly