Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child

I started for a book like this one when my daughter turned 18 months old and developed her knack for fit pitching, slapping and the art of saying "no!". Although I considered myself pretty lucky because she was agreeable most of the time, but these tantrums were starting to become more and more frequent. I didn't want to resort to old fashioned discipline because she seemed just as upset as I was when it was all over and punishment just didn't seem justified. This book really helped me to understand where a toddler is in his/her development and not to take it so personally. It gave me some good examples of how to remove myself from the situation rather than banish her to a timeout.....which had already stopped working....and then come back refreshed and ready to try a new approach. It's pretty amazing how quickly we both have adjusted to this new routine. She still pitches fits but they are much fewer than they used to be and they are far shorter. This book helped me to figure out a routine that helps us both take a moment to gather our emotions. I'm able to enjoy our time together even more now that I understand what she is going through developmentally. All in all a very helpful read.

My son will be two next month and every time we hit a new developmental phase (with its own set of challenges), I remember to pick up this book and it always has the wisdom I need to deal with our exact challenges. It offers a balanced and compassionate view of parenting that resonates with me and when I apply the wisdom in this book, I see a happier toddler and we are both less frustrated. I wish I read this book as soon as he was born, but didn't discover it until he was around 18 months. If you are wondering how to cope with any challenging toddler behavior or would just like to learn more about your child's unique temperament and how to parent them in the specific way that is best for them, I highly recommend this book.

I am so divided on this book. On one hand, I like the philosophy and it has given me a whole new view on my toddler. I now realize he is no longer a baby and I need to give him more independence, like letting him try to put on his own clothes, or giving him tasks like asking him to put things away. In many ways, it has made me stop and think about my reactions to his natural explorations - and I've been able to change my reaction or use a more effective tactic to redirect him.Similar to  The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition , it has the philosophy that you will not need punitive time-outs (or other punishments) if you work with the toddlers' nature. If you give your child the attention they need, as well as plan ahead for difficult situations like visits to a jewelry store (to give one example from the book), and understand their natural inclinations and development stages, you can avoid many discipline problems. It was great to understand that "No, don't touch that." is completely ineffective; I've stopped interacting that way with my 18 month son. Now, I instead say "could you give that to mommy?" and he does.But the authors make the mistake of explaining every good technique with a bad example. In other words, I am forced to read sad stories of misguided parents, children who are spanked for asking questions, kids in bad childcare, and what ill effects it has on the kids. It makes me sad, depressed, and in the case of timeouts, which my pediatrician told me to try, now I feel guilty for scarring my poor kid for life with my timeouts!Also, nary an assertion is made that has a footnote. No, these folks don't like to reference any actual studies that one could look up and learn more about. Lame. In particular, there was a section on how there is a narrow window to wean your child from breastfeeding, before it becomes "habit". Great, now my kid is a breastfeeding addict. I guess it's better than drugs. I couldn't find any evidence of this anywhere - where is the proof of this supposed "weaning" window?I've read actual scholarly books on the effect of TV on children, but they (wrongly in my opinion) did not reference the people who did these studies, as they should have. It's called proper citation and you're supposed to give the credit to the researchers and writers who come before you.another part that killed me - you're not supposed to let your kid see you working at a computer. If you work from home, it said, try not to let your child see you spending so much time in front of a screen. Excuse me? I'm a professional IT project manager and I do use a computer for work, as do the developers I work with. It's a great career. I'm supposed to be ashamed of it and hide it from my kids? Why? I'd love it if they grew up and used a computer someday - it's good clean work! I mean, we can take our kids to see the firefighters and the police, but we can't let them see that people work with computers? B.S. All "screens" were lumped into the same category. I agree that I do not play violent video games in front of my kid and the only tv show we watch once per week, we watch (and discuss) together. But I don't consider my cellphone and my computer to be evil and things that I need to hide from my kid. When I read that chapter, I really started to lose it and didn't want to finish.I loved the final chapter and it gave me a much more positive spin. It was all about appreciating these little moments from babyhood through toddlerhood. I also appreciated their support of childcare, and how to find a good childcare situation - all too often, parenting books that otherwise resonate me will put down childcare or assume that I am a full-time parent. (During babyhood, I was more into attachment parenting but I had to make serious adjustments considering that I was a working mom.)In the end, Dr. Karpp's Happiest Toddler book is a much better read on the same topic. It's more lighthearted and won't pull at your heartstrings with sad stories or prick you with the guilt pitchfork.

I was thumbing through my parenting magazine the other day and saw this book listened. Since there are so many views on parenting, and so much advice given to me, I thought about finding a book that would keep things positive and be against any form of physical punishment. I was surprised and delighted that in my reading the author mentions children shouldn't be punishmed at all! And time-outs shouldn't be given to children before a certain age. I liked the author's ideas of positive time outs where the adult joins the child and helps him/her calm down. I have tried a couple of the techniques already, that seem so obvious and simple now, but before I thought I had tried everything! Distracting your child from things he/she isn't supposed to be getting into is now my biggest help tool. I'm a first time mother, and don't always agree on parenting styles of other people I know. I'm glad this book keeps things simple and encourages children to explore and learn while playing with their toys---not forcing flashcards. I will be purchasing other books by the same author in the future!

After my daughter gave birth to my granddaughter, I asked her her thoughts on structure and discipline for my granddaughter. She said she really did not have one. After I purchased this book for her she had a better sense of self-confidence in what is important to know in parenting an infant and then toddler. This resource is easy to read and understand and the concepts can be applied throughout childhood. As a therapist and Parent Trainer, I recommend the Positive Discipline books often. I have received excellent feedback from all the parents who were smart enough to know that they needed a sound structure to parent their children. The overall benefit I see from Positive Discipline is that this parenting style help parents help their children gradually develop self-discipline.

This book has been criticised by for not being attachment parenting by those who expected it to be, but I'm not one of them! Clearly it is not an AP book but I wouldn't say it is anti-AP either. All the authors do is say that too many parents do co-sleeping and extended bf not by choice but by default, and I have seen quite a few on TV TBH, hence they end up calling Supernanny.I personally liked the fact that Jane Nelson pointed out that towards age one, babies will go through a stage when they don't ask for breast or bottle, and it's the golden occasion for weaning. Hands up, I thought my DD needed milk so I didn't "force" it on her, but I was the one in a routine who failed to spot that she was ready to wean herself of it. And yes, a lot of parents of children well above the age of 2 have to go desperately want the bottles away but face a power struggle because they missed the spot.Otherwise, that book is very against spanking, punishment, reward charts, coercive potty-training and eating, so that matches my own beliefs. My only bit of criticism would be that I would have liked the authors to say more about communication in those first 3 years, especially for the preverbal stage where I still am.

This book really suits my developing parenting style and is an enjoyable and easy read.Helps you to get into the mind-set of your child and give simple but effective ways of dealing with all those little incidents you have with a young child around.In a lot of ways it focuses of changing the way YOU think about the situation rather than modification of your child behaviour. I would recommend it to any like minded parents.

ok

good book, provides a nice insight to general 'kid-management' and attitude

Perfect explanacion of what, how and when to be done so that to grow a confident child with self esteem!